I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Can Purell be used as lube?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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