She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
