I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
