She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
