are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
