im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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