I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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