): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
4 words: hood of his car
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
