the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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