I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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