bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
