god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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