hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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