i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
