Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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