sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
