So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
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