I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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