oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
