i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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