I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
