how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
