I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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