he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
