their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
