told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
