I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
