did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
