I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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