I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
