anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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