if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
