So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I will be naked everywhere
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
