D3 body, D1 cock
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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