So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
