She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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