she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We are two peas in an std pod
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
