OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
