I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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