I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
