I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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