I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
