Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
