tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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