I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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