all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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