Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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