you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
