how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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