So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize