All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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