Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont even know how to be here
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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