You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
