My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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