Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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