ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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