i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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