I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
