the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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